okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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