So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
