You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
