if you like me you must not know who I am
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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