I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just pee around me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
