just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize