Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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