Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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