Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I touched a dick in church today
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