He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
