Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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