I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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