Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
