Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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