how can u be prego again
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
