Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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