everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
