Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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