is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
