please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
