The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
