So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
