who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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