Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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