The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
