i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
