3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
time to smoke my breakfast
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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