Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
