I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I supernannyed him into submission
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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