A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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