i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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