You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize