Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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