We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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