11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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