Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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