Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
