weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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