Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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