THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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