Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
