Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
