Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize