my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
