I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
