i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
