??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
