Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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