We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
