I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dick very happy bro
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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