Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.