well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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