New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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