He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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