I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
