Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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