I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
