Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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