Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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