I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
