so that wasnt chicken after all
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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