So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
