don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
