The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
