Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
